Bye Bye Penis, Man Says After Sitting on Gun

Why does stuff like this always happen in Florida?

Hollow point in front of black gun on workbench.

I grew up in Florida so I get to make fun of it a little. No offense intended to the great people from the state. But, ya got to admit, a lot of the wacko stories that we hear of in the news do take place here.

This guy…Cedric Jelks, 38, sat on his gun as it lay on the driver’s seat. Somehow, that unlucky attempt to sit down triggered his weapon to fire and he blew off his penis. Now, I am sympathetic to any man who loses his manhood for whatever reason. But, can we please all agree that sitting on a loaded gun is never a good idea?

After the shooting, Jelks was taken to the hospital, and he underwent surgery. But the news reports I saw didn’t offer any detail about whether the surgery was successful or not or how much of his member they were able to save. Either way, it’s just never gonna be the same.

Apparently, Jelk’s girlfriend was inside their house in Jacksonville, when Jelks ran in, bleeding and panicking. He ran into the bathroom to check himself out and she saw the blood. And where it was coming from. She took him to the hospital. Cops are investigating why Jelks had a loaded and cocked gun just laying around like that.

Gee. We hope that his bedroom skills weren’t the only reason that his girlfriend liked him, otherwise he’ll have to find a new girlfriend. It’s also hard to believe that she liked him for his brains because sitting on a loaded and cocked gun was not a smart move.